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Ode of the smell of you!

Started by blueskydriver, April 14, 2012, 06:31:15 AM

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blueskydriver

April 14, 2012, 06:31:15 AM Last Edit: April 14, 2012, 07:08:28 AM by blueskydriver
My eyes are blurring, my butt is sore after flying hours and hours from terminal door to terminal door. At FL390 I continue to soar even though I am so insanely bored.

I drank seven sodas because airline coffee taste like crap and speaking of that, it'll have to wait, since I am alone because my FO was late! I asked the Flight Attendant to lend me a hand, but she said "you wanna what in my hand?"

No, no she heard me mistaken, so I will continue to hold it until I land this damn plane that is constantly shaking! Up and down, down and up maybe I can just use my cup! Nope, I better not as it won't do, because it's been three days since I took a big...WARNING! WARNING! TRAFFIC! TRAFFIC! DESCEND! DESCEND!...click!...I turn it off...the damn TCAS is broken again!

PROG reports I got 40 more mintues left of not filling my shorts! No wait, these aren't mine, in fact they feel like panties from the girl I helped with her bags just this last time. Yes, yes it is true, my bags are as big as the sky is blue, but at least I don't lie, like all you other pilot's who look your wife in the eye!

Oh well, what can I say, how about I do all this for such lousy pay. Still it's all okay, because it's almost the end of my day! Thus, down, down we go, to land at another dinky airport with only one place to go...out behind the hangar with an old magazine because they ran out of paper 6 years ago!

Now, you might ask why I do this thing I do? Well, it's not for the fame or glory or the dames or that guy named lori; instead, I do it because there is no better place I rather be, except in the sky, crossing these lands from sea to shining sea... MAN THESE MAGAZINES HAVE SO MUCH BS WRITTEN IN THEM! That last line was from page 8 paragraph 3.

Really, I do it because what else is there to do? Besides, where else can you get paid to sit and hold in your poo, while you post jokes to people who know you're a fool?...

BSD

Isn't it funny how you can write some silly stuff when you 've been up for almost 24 hours? That be me right now...LOL! 
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XOrionFE


Trevor Hale

April 14, 2012, 07:57:09 AM #2 Last Edit: April 14, 2012, 07:57:21 AM by Trevor Hale
What a Great Read!  I Love it.  I am sure it is quite True as well.  Thanks for posting this bud.

Trev
Trevor Hale

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http://www.cockpitbuilders.com

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Worldflight Team USA
http://www.worldflightusa.com

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Maurice

Quote from: blueskydriver on April 14, 2012, 06:31:15 AM
WARNING! WARNING! TRAFFIC! TRAFFIC! DESCEND! DESCEND!...click!...I turn it off...the damn TCAS is broken again!


Glad this happens in real life as well. I often wondered why I would get these warnings when no other make believe planes were in sight  ;D

Maurice
Gravenhurst, Ontario - Canada

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