Important question for real airline pilots

[Maurice]

The other day, while on short final, mother nature called violently and demanded my immediate attention. Thankfully, FSX has a pause button which I gratefully used and after giving my respects to mother nature, I returned to the cockpit & landed the airplane.

Now, my important question is what would happen in real life if such a situation should happen in short final. Assuming the captain is in such a predicament where he cannot wait to pay his respects, would the first officer continue with the landing by himself or would he declare a missed approach and execute the missed approach by himself, or would he declare an emergency or

Just curious as I always wondered as well what would the Queen of England do if she experienced such a dire emergency during an official ceremony.  Sometimes, a higher power demands your immediate attention and will not be denied without major embarassment on you part 

Maurice (obviously a slow building day 

[jackpilot]

Maybe this is why retirement at 60 is mandatory!!!

[Maurice]

short final? are you either on final or you are not right? ahhhhhhhhh  Capt'n winky, now you why airline pilots have dark trousers and sponge seats! now the question is do you write it up as FOD ;-)

Obviously you did not give my question the 'seriousness' it deserves  . And you will probably never take it too seriously until it happens to you. I speak from personal experience as I once was driving back to a hotel in Ottawa when I started feeling some serious disturbance in my lower anatomy. Since I was on a divided highway and relatively close to the hotel, I elected to chance it and hoped to make it safely to the hotel, which I did while in serious discomfort I might add.

So I parked the car and walked slowly to the hotel as I was afraid a fast walk would weaken the barrier & open the gates so to speak. I made it to the elevator but to my great chagrin,  some people were waiting for the elevator and I just could not take a chance to get into that elevator.

So I proceeded to walk up the stairs. Had I been fortunate enough to be on the second floor, I might have made it to my room. But I had another floor to conquer and this proved too much for the muscles that were holding back the tide and so as I was climbing, a serious breach in the dam developed and continued until I got into my room.
Luckily for me, my underwear contained the tide but let me just say...it wasn't a pretty sight so I'll spare you the details.

But I seriously digressed, so let's get back to my original serious question. This could happen to any pilot at a critical part of the flight. What would he do if that happened? Somehow I don't think wearing dark pants is a suitable 'solution' to a very sticky problem. What would YOU do if it happened to you? And is there any mention of emergency bodily functions in airline training manuals?

Maurice

[jackpilot]

One GA experience:
(which does not answer yet Mau's question but can save the day for someone, someday!)

Airplane Piper Arrow
Crew:me  left seat, and a friend
Flight: IFR Montreal Detroit
Location : mid way near Toronto at some 7000'
Event: more and more acute Bladder attack with no dumping system on-board.
Decision:  Abort flight? find an alternate, cancel IFR etc etc ...Not appealing
Solution: Found some sick bags behind my seat, supposedly liquid proof.
Action: FO taking over, Capt dumping fuel in the sick bag, opening the little lateral window, discarding Bag+content through little window.
Resuming flight.
PS:Bag+fluid most probably shredded and vaporized before hitting the ground 7000'below.

Now, Back to Mau's question for airliners crew!!

[phil744]

You know on the FO and CAPT seats there is a little notch cut out in the seat cushion towards the front, that's not for the yoke to fit in you know

[Maurice]

You know on the FO and CAPT seats there is a little notch cut out in the seat cushion towards the front, that's not for the yoke to fit in you know

Yes, I do know that but it's not suitable for explosive decompression 

Maurice

[phil744]

One GA experience:
(which does not answer yet Mau's question but can save the day for someone, someday!)

Airplane Piper Arrow
Crew:me  left seat, and a friend
Flight: IFR Montreal Detroit
Location : mid way near Toronto at some 7000'
Event: more and more acute Bladder attack with no dumping system on-board.
Decision:  Abort flight? find an alternate, cancel IFR etc etc ...Not appealing
Solution: Found some sick bags behind my seat, supposedly liquid proof.
Action: FO taking over, Capt dumping fuel in the sick bag, opening the little lateral window, discarding Bag+content through little window.
Resuming flight.
PS:Bag+fluid most probably shredded and vaporized before hitting the ground 7000'below.

Now, Back to Mau's question for airliners crew!!

You not been flying round here have you jack? http://www.gadling.com/2007/05/03/woman-dies-from-shaft-of-frozen-urine-that-fell-from-plane/6

[Maurice]

You not been flying round here have you jack? http://www.gadling.com/2007/05/03/woman-dies-from-shaft-of-frozen-urine-that-fell-from-plane/6

LOL    I think Jack is a bit too old for such a powerful stream 

Maurice

[jackpilot]

This post is drifting ....

Anyway have never seen any specs on the subject in SOPs !!!

[Maurice]

ok Mau, I did not realize this was a serious question,  So here is the answer   In heavy type aircraft it simply does not happen, the aircraft is prepared for landing XXX NM out and at this time everyone takes a brk... plus there are scheduled rest periods  You have to consider that there are a number of pilots on the aircraft all of whom have either TO or LD  requirements to stay current in type... Failing that it would require a go around and the endless paperwork to follow on from that... For the regional boys you best ask Mike L how it works, as they have only a crew of two.

Yes indeed, it was a serious question with a touch of humour. So if I read you correctly, a dire emergency for the captain (let's say the captain suffers a heart attack instead of just bowel problems) would result in a go around if this was a short flight and the only other pilot on board was the first officer.

But what would happen in this situation even with multiple qualified pilots if the airplane is less than than a mile from touchdown. That's hardly enough time to get the captain out of his seat and replace him with another pilot. So the first officer would have to execute a missed approach, wouldn't he or could he continue with the landing at this point assuming all else is OK.

Maurice