Forum rules

[Maurice]

In order to avoid further unpleasant incidents re. the conduct of some members of this forum, I thought I should clarify those un-written forum rules so that newbie's especially would avoid some obvious faux-pas that may trigger the ire of other well established nut heads...I meant members.

1.   Humour of any kind is frowned upon unless specifically directed at yourself and even then, is to be used sparingly and with a liberal sprinkling of smiley's lest it be misunderstood by non-English speaking members, or English speaking members who quit grammar school too early and went on to become airline pilots after a stint in the military...or those like me who wish they could have become an airline pilot after a stint in the military if their countries had not rejected them because they were too old & grumpy and did not abide by stupid military rules.

2.   Sarcasm of any kind is to be avoided like the plague, especially if directed towards hard working conscientious Americans who are trying to preserve the safety of their country & the world by nipping in the bud the unlawful exporting of gas springs to Canada. Canadian baby seals are collectively breathing a huge sigh of relief knowing that these deadly instruments will not be used to club them to death.

3.   Poking fun at those members building full-size replica of any airliner is ground for immediate expulsion from this forum, especially if those members used parts that were painfully disassembled piece by piece instead of being savagely torn out of a perfectly good wreck by greedy salvage operators who care only about the mighty dollar, instead of caring for the sad souls who need those parts and who will pay exorbitant amounts of money just to impress their friends, wives or whatever.

Had Boeing used Robertson screws instead of those antiquated Phillips screws, taking things apart piece by piece would have been immensely easier & would have prevented this wanton destruction caused by the use of power hacksaws instead of the proper screwdriver, which the U.S. is still mostly reluctant to adopt, probably because some sneaky Canadian might have found a way to get around the export of gas springs by disguising them as Robertson screwdrivers, the likes of which would not be recognized by US custom agents because of their square heads (have you ever seen a gas spring with a square head?  No?... I rest my case)

4.   Poking fun at those members who worry endlessly about matching the colour of their knobs for a particular airliner is also ground for immediate dismissal. It is perfectly acceptable & desirable to want natural looking knobs (& authentic knobs) instead of fake ones poorly disguised as functioning replicas by covering them with a poor coating of prophylactic coloured latex paint just to impress your girlfriends.

5.   Poking fun at those members who choose to fly miniature airplanes such as Lear Jets or the like is never acceptable. Not everyone can handle big iron and the size of your wings should not mean you are but a tiny insignificant spec in the sky. After all, black flies are very tiny but can still bring a grown man to tears, not that I intend to compare business jets to black flies...not that there is anything wrong either if you happen to be a black fly.

6.   And last but not least, poking fun at those members who are big stick challenged and who are destined to only play with their tiny joystick is definitely a big no-no in this forum. Just by not being as well endowed as others should not be a reason to be bullied or made fun of, so keep your privates out of the limelight and do not flaunt them to the less well-endowed Airbus drivers. After all, when your arms & hands  lose their gripping strength thanks to arthritis and/or old age, you might well wish you had a smaller & lighter stick to play with as well.


Now, I don't know what those Karma ratings for members really mean, but since mine is at +7/-0, I assume that the -0 means I've never been guilty of any of the above infractions and I stand as a model for all to emulate.

I hope this has been helpful for all newbie's and even old-timers who, like me, might sometimes be forgetful and who may need to get reminded of what the rules are. I would really hate to be perceived as a rebel when all I really want is world peace.

Maurice
Note:  There was no need for smiley's in my post since I never used humour or sarcasm.

[matta757]

Maurice,

You crack me up!

Matt

[XOrionFE]

Very good Maurice!  Trevor, Jack, or Bob...better make this one a Sticky!!!

ROFL

[shaneb]

Maurice,

From a miniature airplane flyer's perspective that post is hilarious . . . I was needing a good laugh tonight!   Not sure how those Airbus drivers are going to take it . . .            

[Jetcos]

Good one Maurice! 

I read it with the correct accent so it was even funnier! (having met Maurice on numerous occasions and have enjoyed his company on a few road trips to other sims and projects!)

Should be voted as "Best post of the Year"

[phil744]

I read this last night after a few JD's and thought you were being serious so had to read it twice, brilliant, brought a tear to my eye, i agree with Steve defo best post of the year

[bussgarfield]

Maurice,

Having read your post, I sat there like a lemon for 5 minutes trying to think of something sarcastic or humerous to add to it.

I couldn't.

Well written and well said. I didn't find it funny at all though - LOL
Must be my sense of humour from this side of the pond.

Good one.

Gary

[xxilim]

Hahaha that's awesome!

[ETomlin]

I take exception to the miniature Jet comment.

Actually, as always, very good command of the English language with all things considered! I need to get some face time with you Maurice- you're too funny to not experience in person! AND, be careful. Im sure the FBI is watching you.

[Trevor Hale]

Stuck!  LMFAO..  Good one Mau, I needed that laugh.

Trev

[NeoMorph]

I thought I had better read the forum rules and as I was in a bit of a drugged stupor at the time it took until Item 3. until I burst out laughing...

Why can't more forums be as light hearted as these ones (Infinity Ward anyone?).